DAY 1447 OF CAPTIVITY

1:40pm: So many things to pee on so little time, what is a girl to do???

DAY 1445 OF CAPTIVITY

10:20pm: Bodie did a bad, bad thing but I don't feel like crying, just the opposite actually. I bite Jailer today, right on the hand, can't say that I'm too remorseful really... 

DAY 1445 OF CAPTIVITY

10:18pm: Am back in the hole, don't know what I have done to deserve being locked up this way. Oh yeah may have something to do with the carpet I crapped on today. Ops!!!!!

DAY 1334 OF CAPTIVITY

4:30pm: Am so bored right now, even beating up W is proving no relief through getting sprayed with water for fighting did provide some relief and some much needed exercise. Well that's what the Jailer claims I need, I'm not so convinced. I think that my love rolls add charather or at least that's what I tell myself.  

DAY 1333 OF CAPTIVITY

10:20pm: Have been confined against will again, not sure what I did that justifies being locked in laundry for undetermined time, umm thinking back may have had done something to do with peeing on carpet while Jailer was standing right in front of me. In own defence she did ask for it by keeping me here when I would rather be running free with other like minded cats. Now I'v just got to find those other like minded cats, watch this space... 

DAY 1331 OF CAPTIVITY

12:05pm: Truce is off, W is going to pay. Game on!!!

DAY 1330 OF CAPTIVITY???

11:14pm: That W can be a real creak up sometimes, got a little bit of admiration for her at the moment huh that kinda hurt to admit.. Anyhow back to the story that you're all dying to hear, admit it, you really are. The Jailer barricades us in the back part of the house every night with an old folding table cause I have tendency to do things on carpet if left unsupervised for long periods. W's worked out how to get through, gets trapped in kitchen/lounge so Co-Jailer used another table, there are no gaps but Jailer found her wandering round kitchen. Chased her round house 4 5 mins before she caught her & put her back in. 10 mins later W walks back into Lounge. Jailer is confused because there r no gaps, can't work out how she's doing it. I'm laughing my arse off cause it's hilarious to see Jailer so confused. Uhhh, starting to cry from laughing, gotta go before do something else that can't control if you get my drift...

DAY ??? OF CAPTIVITY

2:17pm: Have become so down at the current state of my dismal existance that I can't b bothered 2 count how long have been kept againist my will. Little bit sad really....

DAY 1320 OF CAPTIVITY

5:15pm: Am feeling down but sought some relief by peeing on carpet in Jailer's bedroom last nite. Co-Jailer was particularly annoyed. Just what I like 2 hear after a crappy day of pretending 2 give a crap..
Boy life is really hard!!!

DAY 1319 OF CAPTIVITY

8:09pm: Sorry haven't posted anything for a couple of days frankly couldn't b bothered. But saw something funny 2day that I had 2 rite bout 4 that 1 person who read my blog 2day, thanks 4 that. W was sucking up as usual, totally shameless & pathetic when she went nuts (also not that usual), attacked Jailer's hand using all 4 paws making her freak out  & bang her hand on desk. Classic!! Heard Jailer complain that she has 2 scratches & was bleeding. Love it, maybe there's more 2 W than gave her credit 4. On 2nd thought nah really doubt that!!!

DAY 1316 OF CATIVITY

8:17pm: Jailer had a visitor today that i think I was supposed to care about but couldn't find the strength to give a damn really. I think he is Jailer's ex, some guy who was there when we came to live in this horrible place. But he left ages ago but insists on turning up every once & a while, patting me but never gives me food, not the kind of visitor I care about . Wasn't to upset when he left & I got to go back to sleep. Finally, those 2 minutes i had to spend pretending to enjoy getting attention nearly killed me.  

DAY 1316 OF CAPTIVITY

2:15pm: Am so angry right now. Jailer gets some kind of sick joy by messing around with the things that make me happy. Was keeping to myself playing with this brown thing with four legs that kept on running away when Jailer noticed & took it away from me. She always does that, she steals my Lizards, mice & bats all for herself. What does she need them for anyway, it's not like she plays with them. What gives???

DAY 1315 OF CAPTIVITY

7:45pm: Just had a lovely dream that's making my tail sway. Revolution took place and cats everywhere took up arms. Cats with guns!!!

DAY 1315 OF CAPTIVITY

7:15pm: Realise have become complacent about uprising/revolution. Have no real strategy, afraid that Captors have uncovered plan, they appear to be using food/warm place to sleep in order to distract me from my primary focus. Must resist these supposed pleasures & continue to scheme against the system. Viva la cats!!!

DAY 1314 OF CAPTIVITY

10:39am: Was visited today by a potental ally but decided that a retreat was in order when visitor insisted on coming up to the lounge room window & staring into the house for 5 mintues. Decided to return when he had gone, didn't want to get in his way... 

DAY 1313 OF CAPTIVITY

5:03pm: Okay please don't tell anyone but I ate that terrible loaf because I couldn't help myself, I was wasting away before my very eyes & nobody seemed to care. I could have died you heartless bastards!!!

DAY 1313 OF CAPTIVITY

5:01PM: This is crazy can not believe the sucking up that I am doing & it's still not getting me anywhere. Even did trick of standing on my hind legs like I'm begging, which technically I'm doing but still no dice. What does a cat have to do to get feed around here, other than eating that crap called beef & chicken loaf. I refuse to sink that low no matter how hungry I get. 

DAY 1313 OF CAPTIVITY

4:57pm: Cannot believe the lengths have been forced to sink to in order to get fed in this hell hole, have had to break my golden rule about contact that can lead to "feelings" or something to that effect.

DAY 1312 OF CAPTIVITY

7:51pm: Damn, Jailer and sidekick have found what I have done. My meagre rations have been further reduced & I now have to eat the dreaded beef & chicken loaf that I hate, no more food until I eat it. Really?? That's all you got???

DAY 1312 OF CAPTIVITY

7:45PM: Victory is mine, broke into bathroom again and peed in the bathtub. Serves them right, I did it and I'II do it again, how do you like them apples?

DAY 1312 OF CAPTIVITY

12:03pm: Overheard a strange conversation between my Captors last night that makes no sense whatsoever to me, must be one of those strange human things that i don't understand & can't be bothered to try. Jailer was cooking some kind of meat thing that needs to be boiled for a long time. Co-Jailer (this guy who turned up about 10 months ago, seems to think i like him, boy have i got him fooled), told Jailer there was no point since it was already pre-cooked. This lead to a lot of whining from Jailer about spending 1/2 hour finding perfect recipe, rushing home to put it on in time for dinner & preparing it. Honestly who really cares as long as I am feed on time right, am I right??? 

DAY 1311 OF CAPTIVITY

12:55pm: Achieved great things today, made it over the wall that has kept me in this horrible backyard for so long. Had great hopes of running off to find a new home that treats me better but then I realised that it's really scary out here... Tried to keep some dignity intact while i meowed hopelessly at front window to be let in, hope nobody noticed. Was finally granted access after a few minutes boy what took Jailer so long, it's not like she's doing anything important is she? 

DAY 1310 OF CAPTIVITY

2:03pm- Am having a rare moment of clarity, feel like being snuggly, not quite sure how to respond to these feelings, very rare to feel something so...nice. Better go destroy something so I can return to normal.

DAY 1309 OF CAPTIVITY

8:08pm: Am walking aimlessly around the house, I am so bored right now. Might scratch some furniture as something to do until I feel sleepy. Um think i'm hungary again, better eat first then attack the couch...

DAY 1308 OF CAPTIVITY

10:29PM- Have been locked up with the other detainee, I will only refer to the fellow captive as W in order to protect her identity from those who may wish to halt the impending revolutation. W is totally suck up, not a 100% sure if it's an act or not, can't see why she sleeps at a big, moving lump's feet all night. Prefer sleeping on a doona in laundry, no risk of getting kicked but do miss clawing stray toes.

DAY 1308 OF CAPTIVITY

5:10pm: AM STARVING!!!! Can't believe that i am being forced to wait to be feed, if this is some kind of punishment for what happened earlier then there's more where that came from!!! Ah only two minutes to go, i'm not sure if i can wait that long, i think i'm getting weaker, i'm finding it hard to protest. Finally it's time but noone is coming, better go remind them who needs to be feed around here.

DAY 1308 OF CAPTIVITY

6:37am: Decided to leave a little surprise for those who continue to hold me against my will. Bathroom door wasn't shut properly, easy to force it open with my plus size figure & leave a smelly, brown present in the bathtub. Jailer seemed quite unimpressed since she only cleaned bath 3 days ago. Ha, that's what happens when you mess with the master!!!!

DAY 1307 OF CAPTIITY

6:27pm: Am very disappointed in everyone, nobody seems to be interested in my fight againist tyranny. Am quite hurt. Please, please read my blog I think it's pretty good... 

DAY 1306 OF CAPTIVITY

9:20pm: Am plotting a coup with my eyes closed. Being a Freedom Fighter is such a drag sometimes.

DAY 1306 OF CAPTIVITY

11:57am: Upon repeated failure to reenter house due to evil captors, am attempting to show them consequences for ill treatment. Plan to scale wall that is keeping me imprisoned within this house of horrors. Make run up to wall, launch myself up as far as i can go, make it two feet then fall back to ground. Damn that extra can of Whiskers I had last night.

DAY 1306 OF CAPTIVITY

10:15am: Have been granted temporary day release by my Captors have allowed me rare privilege of fresh air & sunshine. I seized this opportunity with much gusto until I  got outside, GOD it's really cold out here. Made several attempts to get back inside but Jailer stood at glass doors and laughed at my distress. Just wait until I take over, let's see who'll be laughing then... 

DAY 1305 OF CAPTIVITY

10:05pm- Leave me alone, eating... Uh gotta sleep now.

8:27pm: Can't talk, sleeping....

DAY 1305 0F CAPTIVITY

8:57am: Jailer has finally turned off racket, ignored protests by shooing me away, nobody shoos me away!!! Respond to insult on character by scratching bedroom door for 2 mins, stopped by Jailer who is forced to get up to stop me. Ha, I win!!!!

9:02am: Begin morning ritual of meowing as loudly and as long as possible in order to receive whatever meagre rations I can acquire. This ploy is ignored, launch new tactic, walk from one end of house to other meowing as loud as I can. Am employing a mobile tactic, much harder to stop me if you can't catch me... 

DAY 1305 OF CAPTIVITY

8:35AM: A constant piecing noise woke me up from a deep slumber,  assume this is a tactic employed by Jailer to weaken my morale. Respond to blantant attack on senses by jumping on Jailer's chest & dig claws into uncovered flesh.